The End.

The exam ended nearly 5 hours ago. I'm still alive but really exhausted. The answer to the million dollar question (when are results published?) is October 18 at http://www.wsba.org/.

Besides that, I don't really know what to write.

I have gone through 20 years of formal education, 2 months of torturous bar prep, and 2.5 days of exam craziness...all waiting for this moment to arrive. Now that it's finally here, all I can get my brain to do is alternate between random, geeky legal thoughts and urges to sleep. I have no idea how I feel (besides tired). I have no idea what I feel like doing (besides relieving the constant feeling of guilt for not studying). It's going to take some time to feel fully human again (i.e. live without reducing everything to elements of a legal issue, type without counting characters, live more than 45-minutes at a time, relax without thinking of how many essays await).

I'm going to attempt to get back to normal by watching a movie, having a drink with friends, doing laundry, getting a massage, and celebrating a friend's wedding. That sounds like a good start. :-)

Day 2

I'm pleased to report that I have survived the substantive portion of the bar exam. In the past two days, I wrote 18 essay questions totaling 13.5 hours of writing time. I feel moderately confident, though I felt a lot more confident before those last three questions this afternoon. (Can they possibly fail everyone when the call of the question was completely unclear and facts pointed to a topic supposedly not tested?)

Needless to say, I'm exhausted and less than excited about diving into professional responsibility, tested in 6 short essay questions after 6:30am registration tomorrow morning. Here goes...

Day 1

I'm pleased to report that I have survived the first day of the exam, and I'm even smiling about it.

T-Minus Way Too Little Time

I am feeling an overwhelming, paralyzing amount of stress with the start of the bar exam approximately 18 hours away. And, because I'm short on time to type out how I'm feeling, I'll leave you with a link to Above the Law and just a few words of my own.

Do I think I'm going to pass? Probably, but plenty of people who are smarter and better prepared than me have not passed the bar the first time through, so I know that failure is a very real possibility. Ultimately, I do not know (and will not know until mid-October) whether what I know is enough, but I do not know what more I could have done to prepare over the past two months. So, I'll study for a few more hours, eat some dinner, attempt to forget about the exam, attempt to sleep, and go to the Meydenbauer Center in the morning knowing that I'm about to leave it all on the field.

(Thank you for your cards, calls, texts, and email. I promise to respond eventually.)

Treat Time

Even though I still had 3 essays* ahead of me, I just had to take a break to make dinner tonight. These days, little things like walking out to get the mail or making dinner or buying groceries are big treats for me. :-)

Inspired by an appetizer from Chateau Ste. Michelle's Riesling Rendezvous, I set out to create a pizza out of a pile of yumminess. The project was a success, so I've decided to write down the "recipe" and share it with all of you. Enjoy!

Crust:

One Pillsbury Pizza Crust (homemade or frozen crust would work fine, too)

Sauce:

BBQ Sauce (We like mixing Sweet Baby Ray's Sweet n' Spicy and Rufus Teague Honey Sweet.)

Cheeses:

3 ounces of blue cheese, crumbled

3 to 4 ounces of mozzarella, shredded

Toppings:

6 ounces of mushrooms, rinsed and sliced

1 medium to large onion, sliced and caramelized [how to caramelize an onion]

8 ounces of meat, cooked (we used chorizo from Bill the Butcher)

Cook meat. Caramelize onions. Add some or all mushrooms to the onions for the last 2-3 minutes (just to soften the mushrooms a bit).

As meat and onions are finishing, roll out dough on greased pan or pizza stone. Spread BBQ sauce across entire surface. Cover with 2/3 of the blue cheese. Add other desired toppings (onions, mushrooms, meat, other veg). Add rest of blue cheese. Cover with mozzarella. Bake at 400F (204C) for 10-15 minutes or until melted and browning. Slice and enjoy!

*In case you're curious, I finished them all!

Better News

I have good news for a change...

• David was released from the hospital today and is now recovering under my mother's watchful eye. He'll be returning for regular check-ups to get through this round of healing and then schedule the next surgeries.

• The bar exam begins two weeks from today. Eeek! These last two weeks give me a half day to one day per subject to make sure I have everything down...and for some subjects, I definitely need every minute. You won't be hearing much, if anything, from me until it's over as I've taken myself off of Facebook and generally out of communication to focus on my finishing touches.

• George and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary this past weekend. On Saturday night, we returned to Canlis for dinner, a tradition we hope to keep for many years to come. On Sunday, we spent the evening at a riesling tasting at Chateau Ste. Michelle. We had an excellent time tasting riesling (and some sauvignon blanc and pinot noir) from around the world, though I admit we spent a lot of time hovering around the New Zealand tent and a fair bit of time at the Oregon table. Most of all, I loved getting to hang onto my sweetie's arm all night. Am I a lucky gal or what?!

Update on David

David is out of surgery, though still in the Intensive Care Unit. Doctors were able to perform two surgeries (gallbladder removal as well as infection and fluid removal from the collapsed lung). The remaining two procedures will be performed after he is healed and rested a bit. For now, we're waiting for his collapsed lung to re-inflate and initial recovery to begin.

Update on David

As I mentioned previously, my stepdad, David, is fighting serious internal illness. At short notice, the doctors have decided to operate tomorrow (Wednesday); the procedure will involve at least two surgeries and as many as four. Your thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Progress Report

Well, it looks like I've reached the halfway point in my bar study plan. We have just one more week of classes and four more subjects to cover, and then I'm left to study according to "the plan" for two weeks and a few days. The vast majority of my time post-class will be spent memorizing...by studying my outlines, writing and studying flashcards, and writing a whole lot of practice essays.

So far, I analogize the process to being handcuffed to a treadmill set just a little too fast. You can't stop it or slow it, and getting off is not an option.

For those of you who appreciate a numerical breakdown, I've done the following since June 1: attended 64 hours of class, written 15 outlines totaling 120 pages (size 11 font, single spaced), written 90 essays, and had zero days off.

For those of you who appreciate a visual, this is what my essays and outlines look like in a (virtually full) 3-inch binder:

I apologize if your call, email, text, or Facebook message has not been returned...or if it's been returned and you've received "I've been better" as a response to your inquiry about how I am. Hopefully this helps to explain it. :-)